Playthings is an adventure for HöL, the family game of balloons, lollipops, and small fluffy mammals. Of course this refers to some really sick and twisted family [Addams? Partridge? Waltons? Jackson?]; the people wielding the balloons and lollipops are psychotic ninja assassin clowns; and the small fluffy mammals want to eat your genitalia. Have fun.
Spring on Manson IV, the family planet. A time of renewal and growth when the deeds of the past are set aside and the people look forward to a brighter future. When a passing muse hit Christian Beckleman on the forehead with a 9-iron called "Inspiration," he had an idea: seeing himself as a visionary playwright, he set forth to create a drama of the ultimate pedigree. Sure, it would have to be new and original, but damn it, he was a Thespian - of course it could be done!
He set forth immediately on his opus; a quest for immortality one might say. By the time autumn had drawn close, he had finally finished it. Autumn, that was, six years after he started writing. But now at last he could air what must have been the most wondrous modern production since the staging of Runcible's Stage Worship of an Abbatoir. There was only one small problem: a significant lack of actors.
Of course, Beckleman wouldn't let something that small stop him. He reasoned that everyone has some small measure of acting talents; how else could he explain the phrase, "I do"? So he advertised for actors. If he could find people willing to take part, then he would fan the flames of their enthusiasm into an inferno to light the whole of the creative universe!
To Take Part In
But everyone knows that the Emperor Rupert IX doesn't take kindly to free speech and creative thought. Not that many people applied. But some did. Remarkably. Against all odds. Pity them, for when the Enquisition Shock Troops arrived, they shocked everyone. Then they took the group away and put them on ECT. Then, for Crimes Against Decency, the whole bunch were sentenced to incarceration for life on HöL; if you could call that life, that is.
This'll be a list of the characters involved. That is to say the fools without hap who are banded together on that pus-filled boil of a planet called HöL. In case yer wondered, the skills have had the appropriate stat handily added on.
Christian Beckleman should now be a man well known to you. The ins and outs of his life, the nuances of his character, every little tidbit you could possilby glean about his personality should now be laid bare to you like a brick in the face. Basically, he's that thespian blokie that got trapped with a bunch of no-hopers on that island of hurt called HöL. This is a bad thing and he wants off. Fast.
Feral Lad would be a good way to describe this teenager. Filled with all that angst and self-loathing, this boy went off and started living wild. He was attracted by the bright shiny poster, and especially the word controversial. Ever a deviant, Kevin might even last a while with the Sodomy Bikers. Although his communications skills require some work (gurgle, gibber, geep) he could nevertheless be quite some help to the party through his innate ability to survive. Of course, he's never had to face HöL before.
Billy-Joe is a mere child, barely seven years old. Ever the rebel, he would go out and do exactly whatever it was that he had been told not to do. His parents, being dumb, never picked up on this, and so when his fearful mother told him to stay away from that play thing (she wasn't so dumb that she didn't know an Enquisition-fest when she saw one), Billy-Joe immediately signed up. The young impressionable idiot.
So called because he only ever says the word dug, this mountain of muscle has no brain power behind it. Ignorant of the horrors that might await him, Dug saw hard-hitting and was entranced. Fool for shiny objects as he is, Dug got one glimpse of the poster and was set. It's a bit hard for him to change his mind, anyway, since he's only on a time share deal as it is.
Infamous bounty hunter and assassin of a multitude of planets; strong, silent, deadly - that's how you could describe his farts. He, unfortunately, only stands up to the silent aspect. Never will he make a sound, lest his cover be blown. Wen-Kah was in the vicinity of Manson IV and saw the wanted posters. Not being too smart, he didn't figure it out until too late, and got zapped by the Enquisition. Now, he is faced with the task of escaping HöL, or finding suitable employment, and on a planet like this that shouldn't be too hard...
Mrgz- I mean Charles has a secret. You see, he's not human. He's actually an alien from another dimension come to take a look at this one and see if it's worth conquering. He was trying to stay in cognito and had perfected a disguise (he wears a trenchcoat and shades). So far, no one has seen through this most cunning camouflage. Trying to blend in with the human populace, he thought he'd participate in a variety of human activities. Little did he know that being in a play is just plain unnatural. The Enquisition have now taught him otherwise. His naïveté is still evident, however, as he is unfamiliar with this world's customs.
A sneak, a bounder, a blackguard, and a cad. This little annoying thing called Jasper Snidely is an imperial snitch. He had successfully integrated himself within the group - no one suspected a thing - and was about to inform the Imperium, when the Enquisition arrived and, ignoring his futile explanations, banished him to HöL. Serves the wee bastard right. He also sports one of those really annoying moustaches that makes you want to hit him. Argh!
Main Plot Items
Here you'll find a list of a number of different events that could happen to the group in their stay on HöL. This has been designed to be very flexible. These events follow no set pattern, and are all optional. The adventure can be really short, or could be extended into a campaign with the ultimate goal of escape. Like that's likely. Do what you like to the schmucks, but make sure that they suffer.