Sheet 8
"Shut up, Armageddon pier staff" -wrote Dave Rhodes as he quietened his chattering class. A few moments of mystified silence. "Try it American style" -Dave. Bouts of laughter resound after another moment's deliberation (work it out...)
"Son of a bitch, you broke my heart" -Tasmin Archer
"Keflar, bitch!" -Leo Nova >BANG BANG CRASH< "Smith & Wesson, asshole!" -Rita Rizzoli (Whoopi Goldberg) From the film, "Fatal Beauty". It's funny in context.
"Did you see Harry Enfield?" "I find him as funny as genital warts" "Genital warts are hilarious" "On somebody else" "Of course" -Conversation overheard in the Forbidden Planet, by Stel. 'Twas two staff members.
"Dear Concerned..." -Bill's secretary.
"Don't touch anything. It might explode and kill you" -a sign in the Deep Pan Pizza Co. restaurant.
"Doctor Passaris; your cheese toastie is ready" -Doreen. Actually that's false. She's not called Doreen, and it was probably a salad. Apart from that, it's fine!
"KEITH HO LUVS PHIL RODGER WHO LUVS CHRIS TREACY Who loves Simon Rose WHO'S A KNOB" -written on an RGS desk (but you realy have to know the people involved to understand it).
"Every silver lining's got a touch of gray" -Grateful Dead
"It won't go away if you don't pull its head off" -Girl on no. 12 bus.
"If you bring pyjamas, you have to wear them on your head..." -Girl on Metro to boy sitting next to her.
"&*!!£# - my head's fallen off" -Girl in CDT class.
"It has to be tight or you will drown" -Swimming instructor to his class.
"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as far as empty experiences go, it is one of the best" -Woody Allen, sharp-witted as ever.
"What colour is your toilet roll?" -Old woman on bus to other old woman.
"Do you think feet are really necessary?" -CDT teacher to the girl with no head (see before on this sheet).
"How big is your old person?" -Girl in English Class.
"I suspect that I might be a potato" -Man on TV talking about reincarnation.
"I will judge no man until I have walked in his moccasins for six months." -Native American proverb.
"Those who can't drink don't take milk in their coffee." -solution to maths problem (which Clare got wrong!)
"If I say no, he just goes and does it with the dog" -Woman in book about Celibate love.
"It's a long way to Tipparary" -Pope John Paul II, but why?
"The lampshade didn't really go with the socks, did it?" -Girl in assembly, discussing fashion deisgn.
"Can you die from getting your nose run over?" -Girl in CEG class (accidents at work).
"I don't think that I should have put him in the blender" -woman in Virgin Megastore.
"How many fingers have you got?" -boy on Metro.
"Peanuts for everybody" -Charles M. Schulz
"Good grief!" -Charlie Brown
"You try and keep your fingers in" -Clare's mother to Laura, on filling beanbags.
"Go Hoover your ceiling" -Clare's mother to Clare on dust removal.
"I'm a pacifist" -Claire Moorhead.
Look! The answer to the quote is "I'm a getting pissed off"!
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