I don't know the true origin of this piece of humour. I've had to place a copy of it on my website since all of the links to other versions on the Internet that I could find either died or were censored. "Poopie?" Fuck that. We know our shit.
Ghost Shit: The kind where you feel the shit come out, but there is no shit in the toilet.
Clean Shit: The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Wet Shit: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.
Second Wave Shit: This happens when you're done shitting and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to shit some more.
Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Shit: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
Gassy Shit: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.
Drinker Shit: The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
Lincoln Log Shit: The kind of shit that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Corn Shit: Self-explanatory.
Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Shit Shit: The kind where you want to shit but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Shit: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Shit (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, you get splashed with water.
Liquid Shit: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
Mexican Shit: It smells so bad your nose burns.
The Surprise Shit: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops... a shit!
The Dangling Shit: This shit refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done shitting it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.