Sheet 6

  • "I don't think that an elephant would fit up my back passage" -boy on Metro, talking about papier maché models.
  • "I do not want to repeat myself. I repeat, I do not want to repeat myself" -Miss Hughes.
  • "I may be small but I am not invisible" -Mrs Ronan
  • "Go and suck our nose" -J. Keily.
  • "It's being mad that keeps you insane" -Helen Byars
  • "Be glad that was what it was and not something else" -Girl in PE Class.
  • "You are stupid" -Anna to Clare
  • "I don't play the melody, I play the tune" -Sarah (a grade 7 flautist) during rehearsal.
  • "Wow!" -Peter Sissons comments on the Swingometer.
  • "Good morning and welcome to Slapper Atlantic Dossheads" -Jo Brand as an air-hostess
  • "There's a vast amount of blood squirting out of my gusset" -Jo again, I'm afraid
  • "For what it's worth, my money's on the little green men" -Trevor McDonald on crop circles
  • "Life is a pudding bowl, and no matter how hard you try to climb out, you always fall back into the gunk. I suppose that we are all raisins or glacé cherries. Personally I would prefer to be an almond" -CJT on a poem.
  • "[by the dog]" -That master japester, Socrates!
  • "What dark secrets does the Night hold from us? The black scouring dust that is Venom." -Brother Ichmael
  • "This is no laughing matter" -Rushtik Mahlan
  • "I'm me-e-e-elting!" -The Wicked Witch of the West.
  • "Ding-dong, the witch is dead!" -A multitude of dancing munchkins.
  • "Yes, it is unbelievably huge..." -One of the authors of How to be a Superhero - a really funny book.
  • "Valium" -Paul again and again and again at his return meeting of In Brief...
  • "Get off my cheek!" -Paul shouted at Sheraz
  • "What Sauerwein hauntingly celebrates is the unfettered resourcefullness of the human spirit" -Elizabeth III on the blurb of The Way Home.
  • "We were walking down the street saying 'Nazi Attack - We Fight Back' when some Nazis attacked us" -PKF again, and they lost miserably!
  • "She's a really nice girl. I like her a lot" -James Whitburn, on Charlotte Buchanan. Said on 30th June 94

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